tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post2931054531433565366..comments2023-08-04T21:37:16.987-07:00Comments on (Gay) Mormon Guy: Love is Pain.Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-28032692099175369042013-02-23T10:22:25.797-08:002013-02-23T10:22:25.797-08:00Thank you for your honesty and insights. Your wri...Thank you for your honesty and insights. Your writing here, along with something I was reading yesterday about 'friendships' reminds me of an 'awh hah' moment I had a few years ago. Being vulnerable to 'love & be loved' can be complicated, or, it can be simple.<br /><br />One day, I was talking with my mom and sisters about how I had not (for many years) made any close/real friends with any of the sisters in my LDS ward or my neighborhood. I admit, I was feeling a little sorry for myself, but ultimately, I knew the truth that, "you have to 'be' a friend to 'have' a friend". <br /><br />Oh, I had my 'reasons' for not reaching out, like - I believed that I was just not worthy, nor did I have the time to be a GOOD friend, or how I had been soooo 'out there and involved' for so many years that I needed a break, and how I was really protecting any potential friend from being hurt by me (since I knew I was kinda wishy/washy & my life was real crazy), and how I was just doing the 'right' thing by putting my family first, etc. etc. <br /><br />I was admitting to them about how 'wrong' I had been, because I was having some health issues, and struggling, and so, (because of my closed heart & therefore lack of 'friends'), I was now left with NO ONE around me to be a support to me. I had no one to lean on, and I was wondering and worrying about how I would manage, if my health problems got really bad, with my mom & sisters all living in different towns, my husband's employment taking him away from home often, and my daughters soon to ALL be living away as well. (Poor me) :(<br /><br />Then, almost immediately, as I expressed these 'selfish' thoughts, I was overcome with emotion as this thought entered my head, "what are you thinking??? - how dare you dwell on all the 'love & support' you have caused yourself to miss out on.......what about the 'love & support' YOU 'could have' been offering to those 'potential' friends who you choose not to reach out to. not to embrace, and not to love". ~~~ As my tears began to flow, I was so embarrassed and ashamed, I cried to my mom & sisters and apologized for being so self-centered and foolish. <br /><br />I prayed to my Heavenly Father for forgiveness, and asked for the strength to reach out, for His help as I learned to forget myself and think of others. I'm working on being more vulnerable, and although I still have a long way to go as I evolve and improve, I have been so blessed with some wonderful 'new' (and some old & forgotten) friends. And, as I feel the comfort, fulfillment, joy and love that comes from 'seeing' others and 'serving' others, I now consciously look for opportunities to 'BE A FRIEND' - and God continuously places such opportunities along my way. I Define Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07559973604241738145noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-7822531406205774892013-02-22T10:51:45.110-08:002013-02-22T10:51:45.110-08:00Your words of humanity, and humility, remind me of...Your words of humanity, and humility, remind me of a quote I recently read from C.S. Lewis. <i>"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."</i>Watson Familyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09036378470904857778noreply@blogger.com