tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post6857350344732357930..comments2023-08-04T21:37:16.987-07:00Comments on (Gay) Mormon Guy: Alone.Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-34480760730541442492013-03-07T12:00:20.266-08:002013-03-07T12:00:20.266-08:00Anonymous: If you are spiritually clean, then you ...Anonymous: If you are spiritually clean, then you have no need to worry. If you have unconfessed sins, you should probably talk with your bishop about those. Going on a mission doesn't fix problems, but missionaries don't need to be perfect to go. <br /><br />Ultimately, the decision to tell anyone about SSA is your own, and should be based on your own conversation with the Lord. If you want or need help, tell people. If you are good, make your own choice. In my experience, God has always been willing to give me clear and specific feedback on this - so I'd suggest looking to Him for guidance.<br /><br />There are plenty of faithful, full-time missionaries who live with SSA - they grow into faithful saints. My one concern about coming out <i>after</i> your mission is that the period of 10 years after the mission is the most dangerous for going inactive.Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-50798044108722301962013-03-07T11:38:59.090-08:002013-03-07T11:38:59.090-08:00Dear David,
Any tips for closeted soon-to-be mis...Dear David, <br /><br />Any tips for closeted soon-to-be missionaries? Is it bad that no one knows that I have these feelings? I can control them. I have a lot of guy friends and never seem tempted when I'm around them. It's mostly just when I'm alone that my thoughts go crazy.. But should it be important that I tell someone? I love the gospel too much to ever mess up my mission.. I already have my call and stuff and I'm just waiting to go.. But, no one knows that I have these feelings. Is it okay to wait and talk to somebody about it when I get back? <br /><br />Sinceerely, <br />A concerned young man. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-2277988943465411392012-06-30T00:35:41.964-07:002012-06-30T00:35:41.964-07:00Mormon Guy, I think it is great that you have foun...Mormon Guy, I think it is great that you have found help through serving others. Matthew 10:39 says "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it." Your trials (which I don't mean to minimize) make you reach out in service as a need, not just because it seems like a nice thing to do. In reality it IS a need for all of us, in order to become like Christ. So in that small sense, I almost see it as an advantage over the average person. Service is essential to our individual progression - you understand that on a personal level, apply it seriously to your life, and recognize the blessings of service more readily. <br /><br />I was wondering, you describe it as though you -always- feel alone, and serving only "helps you forget." But based on your other posts, I would guess that you do sometimes feel connected to people? Even if it is rare? Maybe it would help to remember those moments - you have felt connected before, so you can have faith and hope in your ability to feel connected in the future. That is something I have tried to do when I feel completely inundated by negative feelings. If you really have NEVER felt connected, or can't remember it, Christ still knows your heart, your mind, and your situation, and I'm sure He still has many tender mercies to bestow upon you, through His Spirit and through the actions of others.Ambernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-47064939326649065052012-06-19T21:48:21.971-07:002012-06-19T21:48:21.971-07:00Andrea: Someone just brought up the fact that my c...Andrea: Someone just brought up the fact that my comment didn't even acknowledge your empathy in your response. Sorry. Empathy is... a subject that's a bit complicated in my life - both empathizing with others and understanding and appreciating others' empathy. I have had experiences where communicating takes huge amounts of effort, and I've felt that way. That's probably a better response than my first one.Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-51878665442620991172012-06-18T22:21:49.447-07:002012-06-18T22:21:49.447-07:00I relate to this. Thank you for writing it. I love...I relate to this. Thank you for writing it. I love all your posts. I am so proud of you. I appreciate your honesty and your willingness to share with the world. Because you feel alone, and because you wrote about feeling alone, I feel less alone. <br /><br />I'm an LDS woman with a mighty strong sex addiction. The stigma is heavy. My trial isn't just like yours; there are probably more differences than there are similarities. My greatest trial in life is a result of poor choices. Your trial is not. Nonetheless, I feel like you get the weight of the stigma, the feeling of being the only one in the Church, the fear of others finding, the wonder "what would they think if they knew?!" And so I love your blog. Keep it up, please. Thank you, sincerely, for it.<br /><br />~ErinStephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05427592797141856932noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-11784852492036073602012-06-18T17:46:45.192-07:002012-06-18T17:46:45.192-07:00Thankfully, loneliness isn't as dangerous anym...Thankfully, loneliness isn't as dangerous anymore in my life. My thoughts of suicide went mostly away with Seminary graduation, and the pain that used to be suffocating is now just a dull throb. Sometimes growing larger and threatening to do something on its own, but I've been there already. And I'm not going back.Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-77348960420605573262012-06-18T17:44:10.407-07:002012-06-18T17:44:10.407-07:00Thanks.Thanks.Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-64892630360058821682012-06-18T17:43:39.510-07:002012-06-18T17:43:39.510-07:00I don't understand what you're saying. I h...I don't understand what you're saying. I have people in my life who know that I live with same-sex attraction. Plenty of people I can ask questions, mentors, leaders, family members - people who would drop their lives for me in an instant and who know <b>everything</b> I am going through.<br /><br />The issue is that I feel lonely even when people know me inside and out, love me, and are good at showing it. Part of it has historically been from real depression... but my depression is under control. Either way, it's a totally different problem than not being genuine or honest in the first place.Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-63933909764344469802012-06-18T17:39:38.349-07:002012-06-18T17:39:38.349-07:00Chase:
I'm sorry you feel alone. It's sor...Chase:<br /><br />I'm sorry you feel alone. It's sort of awful, isn't it? And yet liberating in the fact that God is always there. And frustrating when you have trouble believing He can meet your needs (even those for friendship and companionship). And amazing when you realize that He can.<br /><br />And then awful when you forget (or drop into depression) and start all over again.Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-14277955215858059772012-06-18T17:36:30.924-07:002012-06-18T17:36:30.924-07:00"I have conversations with people who know m..."I have conversations with people who <b> know my innermost thoughts</b>... and feel alone."<br /><br />My innermost thoughts include my genuine self - everything I face and think in life.<br /><br />I don't think I understand what you're saying.Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-36301590376467918572012-06-18T17:33:54.978-07:002012-06-18T17:33:54.978-07:00Lol. Yes, you should.Lol. Yes, you should.Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-24382045762212880472012-06-18T17:33:13.588-07:002012-06-18T17:33:13.588-07:00Yeah. That last part seems to be the issue. I'...Yeah. That last part seems to be the issue. I'm going to try again.Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-42382723303860968072012-06-18T17:32:11.794-07:002012-06-18T17:32:11.794-07:00Thanks, Cliff. I'm not sure that playing with ...Thanks, Cliff. I'm not sure that playing with puppies would do much for me. They're way too oblivious to the world. At least the ones I know are. I'd rather have a stoic dog that just looked me in the face for an hour, then made me get up and run around the town.Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-34392764257815717942012-06-18T17:30:43.862-07:002012-06-18T17:30:43.862-07:00Thanks. It's been a somewhat lifelong struggle...Thanks. It's been a somewhat lifelong struggle... but working through it means getting the strength to move forward.Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-13122813201319831812012-06-18T17:24:11.771-07:002012-06-18T17:24:11.771-07:00I've been there. Most of us probably have at s...I've been there. Most of us probably have at some point or another. If I could go back and tell my all alone self something, it would be that it's ok. Loneliness, although terrifying, is not an emergency. Sometimes we are alone. Other times we feel alone although we are not. And that's ok. When we are so caught up on pushing forward, battling our demons, and reaching our goals it's really scary to sit still long enough to realize that we are on our own. For me, that's when the panic set in. When I couldn't stay busy enough to avoid it any more. I wish I would have had the courage to sit. To be still. To wait. To step back and stop thinking. To just be present in that moment. To let the thoughts and despair come and watch them pass away, like clouds drifting by. We have more time than we think we do. Be at peace with where you are in your journey. Alone or not, you are a child of God and your worth is infinite. That will never change.Christinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05502058817836699210noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-12757620996415986352012-06-18T17:17:22.103-07:002012-06-18T17:17:22.103-07:00I haven't been reading here long, but I have t...I haven't been reading here long, but I have to agree. When you're holding something this important back, there's no way you can develop the kind of intimacy you need to NOT be lonely. There's always the nagging question in the back of your mind--would they still want to be with me if they knew the real me?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-63359126768158312492012-06-18T14:45:20.692-07:002012-06-18T14:45:20.692-07:00I think loneliness is the worst -- emotional isola...I think loneliness is the worst -- emotional isolation that isn't fixed by physically hanging out with other people. This isn't particularly helpful, but I'm sorry you're feeling lonely and hope you feel better soon!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-86221950285241905842012-06-18T13:35:20.267-07:002012-06-18T13:35:20.267-07:00You feel alone because you are not engaged in gen...You feel alone because you are not engaged in genuine, fully honest relationships with people. Please consider coming out. I think it will free you (and I don't mean coming out and being openly and actively gay...I just mean being honest about who you are). The burden you carry by trying to remain anonymous just grows with every blog post. You cannot expect these hundreds of stranger blog readers with all their words of support be a substitute for human emotional intimacy. We ALL need that in our lives.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-62784929791844506722012-06-18T10:46:06.947-07:002012-06-18T10:46:06.947-07:00Wow, this post describes exactly how I'm feeli...Wow, this post describes exactly how I'm feeling right now in my life as well. I hope you can get through it!Chase Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04338242867507871540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-56036174685207457692012-06-18T09:22:13.002-07:002012-06-18T09:22:13.002-07:00Perhaps you feel this way because you aren't s...Perhaps you feel this way because you aren't sharing your genuine self with people. Maybe it's time to stop working so hard to force yourself to be something/someone you are not.Heatherhttp://www.mormonexpression.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-87114048982126502512012-06-18T08:59:40.290-07:002012-06-18T08:59:40.290-07:00Cognitive behavioral therapy is the only form that...Cognitive behavioral therapy is the only form that's been clinically validated, but even then a lot depends on the individual therapist and how well you click with them.Anon for this.http://www.person.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-5638959577732112472012-06-18T08:57:57.660-07:002012-06-18T08:57:57.660-07:00Those are classic symptoms of depression, fyi. I ...Those are classic symptoms of depression, fyi. I should know.Anon for this.http://www.person.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-80792651555453454662012-06-18T06:48:05.272-07:002012-06-18T06:48:05.272-07:00Anonymous:
I hope your group therapy helps... and...Anonymous:<br /><br />I hope your group therapy helps... and that something does. I know that in my life, the only thing that has had the power to at least help me forget the loneliness has been serving others. I dropped my dreams and hopes and personal quests and restructured who I am to focus on helping others... and that gets me through each day.Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-91800425360672506022012-06-18T06:44:33.592-07:002012-06-18T06:44:33.592-07:00...and the perfect time to find God. Surrounded by......and the perfect time to find God. Surrounded by people, it might be easy to be distracted... but it's just Him and me. And a life of being alone has had the upside of bringing me closer to Him.Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-71070937893244837302012-06-18T06:41:29.462-07:002012-06-18T06:41:29.462-07:00My "great conversations" don't usual...My "great conversations" don't usually involve a lot of laughter. Even when I can talk about the depths of my thoughts, there always seems to be part of me that can't connect... so I don't think I hit the emotional high you mentioned before the low. I don't get to the point where I don't feel alone.Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.com