tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post6984732069995860214..comments2023-08-04T21:37:16.987-07:00Comments on (Gay) Mormon Guy: And Then.Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-48346328614146612572011-06-14T23:47:41.734-07:002011-06-14T23:47:41.734-07:00I've realized my struggle with apathy is on a ...I've realized my struggle with apathy is on a par with your struggle with SSA...<br /><br />For me, I try to push myself and do well until suddenly a part of my brain just seems to shut off, and I stop caring entirely. Sometimes the rest of my brain is yelling, SCREAMING, for that part to WAKE UP and try something! But it won't. I end up in bitterly frustrated tears because I can't force myself to ACT. I feel like a ghost looking at myself in exasperation and wailing in agony as I watch my grades plummet and my life fall apart under my inattentive fingers.<br /><br />Some days I just want to buy a ticket and hop the first plane home. To just give up, because it stopped being worth it a long time ago. And then... I remember why I'm here. Why I'm pushing myself through this morass of homework and painful self-hatred every single day. Because the Lord loves me and can see my future clearly, the future I can have if I keep trying.<br /><br />I have days where I feel like the scum of the earth, sucking up people's tithing money and doing nothing useful in return. A parasite on the world. Lower than dirt. Then I remember that I'm a daughter of God, and he has a plan for me. I might be dirt, but he loves that dirt dearly and wants that dirt to be carried on the winds of change, landing in some distant place and growing something amazing...<br /><br />I think I'm just rambling now, but thank you for the insight into myself.ifwecouldonlyseehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09680152875422535999noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-55073174181131621562011-05-30T09:43:31.335-07:002011-05-30T09:43:31.335-07:00You... are absolutely brilliant.You... are absolutely brilliant.Carmen Thorleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12982263982490434176noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-10211559171033650542011-05-30T09:01:26.084-07:002011-05-30T09:01:26.084-07:00KPW -
Thanks for writing well-written comments. I...KPW -<br /><br />Thanks for writing well-written comments. I agree with you, except in the part of certitude. I didn't post your comment originally because that didn't jive with me. And now I realize that change, at least from the psychiatric, religious, and anecdotal perspectives... is possible. Miracles can and do happen, and science moves forward - just as they do in other fields. I agree that finding peace in reality is essential to spiritual progression, but reality can change... and leaving that door open, in my mind, is just as important in developing faith. Yes, it takes a lot more faith to not be healed when it is possible... but that doesn't mean I have to cede the possibility. Science, God, and reality could somehow change me... but if not, I'll still move forward. <br /><br />My response won't really fit in a comment - it's a new post. Thanks for being the impetus to do the research.<br /><br />Mormon GuyDavidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-52013049147013248612011-05-29T22:42:31.068-07:002011-05-29T22:42:31.068-07:00I feel your frustration and admire your faith. I&#...I feel your frustration and admire your faith. I've known the feelings of pursuing a relationship with a wonderful woman and loving so much about her personality and intelligence and yet not feeling the visceral attraction. And then in the next moment meeting a man with whom I simply want to be friends and enjoy a camaraderie and yet finding myself spiritually and emotionally attracted to him like I had never felt for the woman whom I thought I could/should marry. It frustrates me until I calm down and remember that I am fundamentally attracted to men, that is where my natural sympathies lay. And as frustrating as this experience is for me, it at least brings me peace in the certitude of the immutability of those natural sympathies toward men. I've been able to move on from that cycle of longing and frustration to more clearly approaching my life and relationships with healthy expectations. This clarity has also allowed me to approach Heavenly Father with more peace and faith in asking for direction in my relationships. He knows I've done my emotional/spiritual work in understanding my feelings and relationships and therefore He knows I will not ask amiss.KPWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01272443837752199933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-79855291558541941582011-05-29T09:40:01.438-07:002011-05-29T09:40:01.438-07:00Dear Mormon Guy,
Thankyou for writing this and 1)...Dear Mormon Guy,<br /><br />Thankyou for writing this and 1)giving a voice to so many people who feel like they have none, and 2) giving some insight to people who have never gone through your trials and since they completely lack any *sympathy* lack *empathy*.<br /><br />You are not alone, and there are thousands of people rooting for you.Megan Davenport Cannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11111175975207050737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-5756060765358851432011-05-28T21:07:13.253-07:002011-05-28T21:07:13.253-07:00Two steps forward, one step back... then start all...Two steps forward, one step back... then start all over again. Over time, you WILL get there. Enjoy the journey. Try not to think TOO MUCH. Don't worry about tomorrow, or best friends. You are doing good and the Lord loves you. That is all that matters. I love you, too. <br /><br />A sister in spirit...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-48084264067166466632011-05-28T19:41:09.515-07:002011-05-28T19:41:09.515-07:00I think you are remarkable. That's all I have ...I think you are remarkable. That's all I have to say.Donna Tagliaferrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13705679077073780322noreply@blogger.com