tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post956415313523278042..comments2023-08-04T21:37:16.987-07:00Comments on (Gay) Mormon Guy: Lifting MeDavidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-637841168134685762010-11-14T20:28:26.636-08:002010-11-14T20:28:26.636-08:00I know some random person out in the Internet prob...I know some random person out in the Internet probably doesn't help much and negatives always seem to weigh heavier on the heart and mind than the positive, but I'm sorry some people keep attacking you. For some reason people feel that since someone is putting themselves out there, they're open to criticism no matter if it's warranted or not. Which is why most people don't have the courage to put themselves out there in the first place. I love your blog and it has helped me so much to understand SSA, something I honestly did not get until I found your blog. So thank you for writing this and for continuing until the Lord tells you your work is done. As I read your words, you inspire me in my own trials to keep enduring and to endure with optimism and hope.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-39227765740407946652010-11-10T07:10:38.636-08:002010-11-10T07:10:38.636-08:00Anon:
It's not that I don't want to recog...<b>Anon:</b><br /><br />It's not that I don't want to recognize those who live my struggles and love the gospel. The issue is that, as soon as I begin speaking about someone else, I change from being a faithful member who is telling his story to a "representative" of a group of men and women who I don't know... and who I can't honestly represent. I know some things are universal, and those are the things I write. God will fulfill His promises. Through Christ and the Atonement all mankind may be saved. God gives us the strength to choose our actions, thereby choosing who we are. We are in control of our own destiny.<br /><br />But some things aren't universal. How the gospel applies. When the Lord will bless us with the promises He has given. And in this blog, I am completely honest. I have rough days when I wonder if I have destroyed my hope of happiness - if my sins are against a light bright enough that I won't be able to get back. When I pray, ponder, read the scriptures, and attend the temple, I know that I am not abandoned or hopelessly lost... but I still get those feelings, and I know that others share them... and so I write.<br /><br />If you ever met me in real life, you would never guess the things that go through my head. I'm an optimist in everything. But when I felt prompted to begin this blog, I felt prompted to be honest. And that means that my faith waxes and wanes with my life and my relationship with God.<br /><br />I know that there are many good men and women who, like me, live out their lives and meet their struggles in the light of the gospel. I just don't have time to find them or share their stories. And, since I'm not an authority on any subject but my own life, I don't endorse following their "teachings," just as I try to share my experience instead of telling others what theirs should be. The prophets exhort. Bishops counsel. Parents and home teachers encourage. But I'm just a random Mormon guy writing a blog; the only thing I can do is tell my story and live my life with faith... and pray that the Spirit will teach people according to their needs.<br /><br />Thanks for commenting.Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-10081778043864037792010-11-10T01:27:13.105-08:002010-11-10T01:27:13.105-08:00Here I go again with another comment that you, und...Here I go again with another comment that you, understandably, will not post. But I know you read everything, even when you don't post it.<br /><br />I just read your last 3 posts. In some ways you are an enigma. On one level your posts are interesting, articulate, insightful and sometimes open and honest. On another level, you seem determined to isolate yourself -- far more interested in what you have to say than learning about others out there who are also successfully navigating the path of same-gender attraction, while remaining true to their faith and living by the Spirit. It is almost as if you believe that if you acknowledged there are other SGA brothers and sisters who are faithful like you, it would in some way threaten your uniqueness. You are happy to acknowledge the regular members of the church who are faithful to gospel principles, like the word of wisdom, or whatever. But when it comes to SGA, you still tend to communicate as if you are in a league of your own. <br /><br />One thing you said in this post I can readily relate to: "I'll say it again and again: The Church is the perfect place for me as I struggle with being attracted to guys... because it is through the teachings of the Church that I have come closer to God and found true peace." That has also been true for me, and what has kept me going all these years.<br /><br />I have been married for over 25 years and our marriage was blessed with several children. The SGA struggle did not end with marriage. But I was completely up front with my wife when we were dating about my sexual orientation, so she did not feel betrayed when I continued to struggle at times (though I have never been unfaithful to her). I think we both believed it would be less of an issue than it has been in our marriage. Those feelings don't just go away because you marry a wonderful woman. But we are friends. We care about each other. Most importantly we are committed to each other. And because our hearts are in the right place and we have faith in God, He has helped us through the trials. Every marriage has trials -- not just marriages where one partner deals with SGA.<br /><br />Regarding your patriarchal blessing, I absolutely believe you can get married and have a family. And that the Lord will bless your marriage and family and help you collectively weather the challenges that each marriage faces. If you have issues other than SGA, that is a matter I don't have experience with. But I DO have experience with being a man who, like you, has felt that same kind of love (numerous times, especially before marriage) for another man you described in an earlier post. And like you, I kept it appropriate. But that did not stop a woman from loving me and it did not stop us from marrying in the temple, raising our children and remaining committed to each other and to God. And it won't stop you either. I can say this from personal experience, but even more because you have been given that promise by God. <br /><br />Whether you really think you are dreaming the impossible dream or whether you are simply adding extra drama to your blog postings by painting marriage as a goal you wonder if you will ever reach, I have no idea. But again I refer you to the many others with SGA who have loving marriages that work. Do some marriages where one partner struggles with SGA fail? Yes, of course. But so do many heterosexual marriages, even temple marriages. I hope you are being real with your postings on this subject and not just trying to be "interesting" or dramatic. Either way, I sincerely hope for your success and happiness.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-17630130853723013042010-11-09T19:37:16.781-08:002010-11-09T19:37:16.781-08:00PNW,
I think straight people have a lot of miscon...PNW,<br /><br />I think straight people have a lot of misconceptions about how an SSA person experiences "attraction". It is no different than a straight person - identical really. We're not attracted to everyone of the same gender any more than you may be attracted to everyone of the opposite gender. Attraction is complex - its selective. We have things that attract us and things that don't. I'm not "attracted" off hand to most people. Its not something I think about all the time. My sexuality is only a part of who I am as a person, and I guess I look at others the same way. I'm much more interested in your experiences, knowledge and testimony than anything physical.<br /><br />You can hug us and be our friends without fear. If I'm attracted to you and think it would make either of us uncomfortable, I won't hang around you. Maybe that's because of the standards I try to uphold, which come from my testimony of the Gospel.<br /><br />Most of my male friends are married members of the Church, and we hug each other regularly. We're human beings - we need appropriate touch to be emotionally whole. They also let me sit with their families in Sarcrament Meeting, invite me to Birthday parties, and generally include me in their life. I need healthy relationships like that. We all do. <br /><br />So just treat us normally. Treat us like anyone else - one of the gang, part of the Fam! We're actually very nice people, and probably have much more in common than you might imagine. :)Nealhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03943975175380497835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-21321773365716626192010-11-09T15:49:18.022-08:002010-11-09T15:49:18.022-08:00ditto for over 30 singlesditto for over 30 singlesAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-20145089224101659892010-11-09T12:14:30.612-08:002010-11-09T12:14:30.612-08:00I think the most important thing to keep in mind i...I think the most important thing to keep in mind is that there is no all encompassing formula for how to treat a gay. Get to know them as a person like you would any other person in the ward. Find out what they do, what they study, what their hobbies are, what they spent their weekend doing, where they're from, what they're passionate about. <br /><br />Just like getting to know and becoming friends with anyone at all, gay or straight, Mormon or not, simply show an interest in their lives and if they are interested, include them in yours. Definitely don't do it though, for the sole purpose of trying to find them a spouse. Do it because we are all brothers and sisters and because loving one another makes the world a better place. :)JonJonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14158807819966424747noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-20326391445912437302010-11-08T21:57:07.951-08:002010-11-08T21:57:07.951-08:00I guess I come across as a really nice guy to some...I guess I come across as a really nice guy to some people. One person told me he just couldn't imagine tackling me. Whatever the reason, no one has ever had the guts to tackle me in a Frisbee game. I really wish they would.<br /><br />I'll be honest. If you know about my struggle, then I'll let you know my limits. And those limits are different for each guy. Me personally? Some of my best friends are guys. We have conversations that go late into the night, talking about everything. We can rub eachother's backs in Church or at a fireside, give each other hugs, wrestle, work out at the gym, and do all the normal guy stuff. The basic rules of engagement? I want a hands-on relationship that treats me, and lets me treat you, like a good guy friend... and not an object or just a token friendship. On the one hand, be hands-on. On the other, as long as you don't interlock fingers with me or kiss me goodnight, everything will good.Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03552740645279057549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2780506856626441160.post-90115794774200123602010-11-08T21:08:04.558-08:002010-11-08T21:08:04.558-08:00Excellent post and applicable to everyone, actuall...Excellent post and applicable to everyone, actually, whether married or single, young or old. I suspect come final judgment, Pres. Monson would rather be judged on his care for the widows in his ward when he was bishop than his administration as president of the Church. I know I have been astonished to learn (much later) of the positive influence I have had as a hometeacher. <br /><br />I'm hoping you can expand on this topic. You say to treat you as any other friend, but my experiences socializing with non-LDS gay men makes me wary. How do we get past my awkwardness (assuming I know about your SSA) that might make you feel like you are my "token gay Mormon friend". And what about touching? I'm pretty hands on with my guy friends. Should I treat you as I would the wife of a friend in terms of touch, level of social intimacy, etc. or can I tackle you in my backyard during a frisbee game? These may seem trivial from your perspective, but not knowing "the rules of engagement" make me hesitate. And you will experience that as indifference.PNWReadernoreply@blogger.com