A friend told me he thought his elders quorum president could be gay.
Someone told me I was way too intense in keeping promises made to others - and it was about a promise I had made to someone else.
Both of the girls that seemed interested in me a few weeks ago seem much less interested now.
So what does that mean? How should those honestly affect my life or someone else's?
If my elder's quorum president were attracted to guys (I definitely don't think mine is), I'd go out of my way to be his friend... which is something I already do.
Part of being a friend, to me, means being willing to make any commitment in behalf of a friend, then doing everything in my power to keep it... which means that some people will always think I'm weird for being so committed. But keeping my commitments, at any cost, will always be a facet of my friendship.
And if a girl isn't interested in me, then trying to draw her into the complicated and chaotic web of who I am (my blog - gay Mormon guy - included) is definitely not worth it. Girls have said that dating me is a positive life-changing experience (which I usually have to question), but I would never wish the turmoil that stimulates those changes on anyone without their eyes fully open.
So what does life and its many twists and turns have to do with me? I know who I am. I'm a son of God, traveling slowly on the path back to Him. Slowly trying to understand what I need to do in life to better build His kingdom. Sometimes situations come up that require massive, painful changes in who I am... but often, just following the course I've already set out for myself is enough to overcome the daily trials in the way. Prayer. Scripture study. Meditation. Finding ways to serve others.
God is with me, and He will be at my side as long as I follow Him. He has promised that He will help me to overcome everything in life and to be happy now and always. So when life tosses me trials, often this is my response: So what?
I'm autistic, ex-bipolar, and attracted to other guys (gay/SSA/whatever). More importantly, I'm a son of God and faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons). My life is usually amazing. This is my story of hope, happiness, and faith.
Monday, March 14
So What?
Labels:
Acceptance,
Change,
Daily Schedule,
Dating,
Direction,
Faith,
Fitting in,
Optimism,
Perspective,
Prayer
9 comments:
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"So what?" Exactly what I want to say to MOST people who question someone else's opinion/belief. Why do people get so bent out of shape, thinking that will change the mind of someone who disagrees?
ReplyDeleteMan, I cannot begin to explain how very much I identify with the whole "keeping commitments" part of this post. I feel like I am flakey beyond belief, and yet, I wouldn't back out on a promise unless it was out of my hands. I've learned that those who try to make you disregard commitments are generally acting in selfishness, and rarely turn out to be good friends. Good job for sticking up with integrity.
ReplyDeleteI admire you for being so committed to your friendships and to your word! It's a trait that so many have gotten away from. Intensity is not entirely a bad thing. I know I don't know you but you seem like the kind of person who I'd be honored to be friends with. I wish you continued strength and the gift of being able to share your journey so eloquently with others. Sometimes our trials in life enable us to enrich the lives of others. You are doing just that.
ReplyDeleteYou are not going to build Zion. You are gentile. You will be assisting the Remnant in building Zion. Assisting, not building. Got it? You are a gentile, and, as the Book of Mormon foretells, will drop the ball on building Zion, along with the rest of us gentile Mormons.
ReplyDeleteYour over-Mormonized world view is so annoying! Why do I continue to read this annoying blog, except that I truly do feel sorry for you. You still think this is all just a list of boxes to check off on your way into the Celestial Kingdom. I bet as soon as you get the chance you will have a homosexual affair with another man, and probably a Mormon man at that.
Dear Anonymous:
ReplyDeleteYour audacity astounds me. First you claim to know my genealogical heritage - specifically that I am "gentile" and, as such, am excluded from the right to build Zion. That you could be so positive about my heritage (and in that way) makes me think you read the wrong side of the tarot card.
Next you talk about a list of boxes to check off to get into the Celestial Kingdom? While it would be nice if there were a list of things to do beyond the simple list given in the scriptures (faith, repentance, baptism, etc), entrance into the Celestial Kingdom, or any of the Kingdoms of God, is based on who we are - not on what we do. What we do definitely plays a central role in defining that, but we are judged according to our knowledge and our ability. If I know the truth and have talents, the Lord expects me to use them and to accomplish much more than the person with less knowledge or talents. It is so much more than a list. Thinking that it is simply a checklist is demeaning the individual nature of personalities and needs of God's children. God is not going to compare us against a checklist that is the same for everyone; He is going to have a personalized interview where He will determine how we followed His counsel. Yes, the commandments are the same for everyone. But the commandments are general for a reason - to allow us the ability to turn to God and build upon the foundation that the commandments set, according to our knowledge.
And you have already lost your bet. The world is full of opportunities to sin - at every turn. And yet I'm not. And I'll never have an affair - I think that should be self-evident from my perspective on faith.
Maybe your comment was meant as hyperbole, but it seemed too earnest to be facetious. Hopefully I have addressed your concerns (though I'm honestly not really sure what they were).
Anonymous, 3rd Nephi 14:3.
ReplyDeleteMormon Guy, I'm glad you have such an excellent head on your shoulders. I'd build Zion alongside you any day of the week. We are all sinners and the Atonement is meant for everyone because every single person needs it. Your "over-Mormonized world view" is refreshing and promotes knowledge of the love of our Savior and the perfection of the Plan of Salvation. The world has enough writers who are confused about the true nature of things, whereas I feel you see them for what they really are. Please know that good people are rooting for you. Anyone who roots against you is lacking the basic principles of the Gospel. Keep up the good work, Brother.
I don't like that you receive comments of discouragement. What you're doing is exactly what you should be doing, and you know it's true. As I read your blog, I know that it is the truth too. You are helping me develop my testimony, and you are helping me understand my friend, and find small and simple ways to bring him toward the Gospel of Jesus Christ. What you've written in this blog is going to be one of the ways, and I know that that is also true.
ReplyDeleteYou have an extraordinary talent in writing and because you use it so righteously, you can be a powerful influence in the hands of Heavenly Father. I think maybe this makes you a little more of a threat to the great and evil one... so he might be scrambling pretty bad to find ways (either on the internet, or in person) to try and knock you down a few notches. (It looks like it's to no avail)
P.S.
It is better to be an 'intense' friend rather than a fair-weather friend.
Anonymous #2:
ReplyDeleteI'd publish more dissenting comments if they followed the rules of the comment section. I get a few each week, and sometimes get a slew all at once. It's important to have dissenting thoughts - it makes me think and it solidifies my position. Being a good person, and sharing the truth that I know, is never going to be easy, and people like anonymous #1 may honestly believe that I am setting myself up for failure. But that's one of the prices I have to pay - and the only way to know the truth is to ask God.
Thanks for the compliment on my writing. Sometimes I feel like I write well, and sometimes I don't. Ultimately, though, it just matters that I'm doing what God expects of me... and He expects me to write even if sometimes I don't write well. I'm glad that at least you don't have to sift through painful prose to get the message from me!
I so agree; that is my attitude about a whole lot of things... "So what?" Another great post.
ReplyDeleteIn reference to the last couple comments - The possibility of success never comes without the possibility of failure. But one can actually unknowingly choose the possibility of failure, by choosing not to attempt to succeed. The only failure I see possible comes in failing to try. I went to a fireside where Cameron C. Taylor spoke about success and the principles to achieving success; he said it like this... "There are no failures. Only people who quit before they succeed."
You are most definitely succeeding! THANK YOU! Keep up the GREAT WORK! :D
PS I'm terribly intense, too. :O Sometimes it needs to be reigned in, and other times it is a blessing. :)