A good friend learned that I recently stopped dating a girl; we had been on enough dates that our families knew about it and we at least knew each others' favorite colors... When she learned that I had been the deciding factor, and not the girl, the questions started. "I think she is a really nice girl, and really cute, and you guys seem to fit well together... What about her didn't you like?"
I wasn't really sure what to say. I've made a covenant with myself to always be completely honest, and finding an answer that accurately conveys my feelings and yet doesn't bare my soul seemed a bit hard. "I just felt like it wasn't going to work out - I'm not attracted to her." And then the dreaded question came... "What about a girl makes her attractive to you? What kinds of girls are you attracted to?" and the Spirit of the Lord to the rescue, being able to explain my feelings without destroying my life: "I don't know..."
When I look at my struggles in that light, it almost sounds like a completely different issue. I'm trying to find a wife; attraction is important but not the most important factor; I'm just don't know who I will be attracted to, why, or under what circumstances. Oh. And, at least right now, I'm attracted to (very few, but some) guys, and for whatever reason I have a hard time developing close relationships with others...
I'm autistic, ex-bipolar, and attracted to other guys (gay/SSA/whatever). More importantly, I'm a son of God and faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons). My life is usually amazing. This is my story of hope, happiness, and faith.
Saturday, December 11
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Well, that answer will always be true and believable because no one knows for sure what makes someone attractive or unattractive to them. You just are or aren't.
ReplyDeleteYou will know it when you find it. 100%. I know it's a hard question to answer, but you just haven't found it yet, but when you do I know it will be awesome.
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