If you took the last few days of my life and smashed out all the everyday stuff, there wouldn't be much else. No life-changing realizations or goals reached that have been just out of reach... just living life as it comes and being willing to turn to the Lord. I've found that trying to avoid the guys I like, at least for a bit, helps me clear my mind and now there's definitely a lot more to life. Not stressing about the girls I don't like gives me the same simple peace, and there's not much else to say. But I think that works. Most of life is spent moving on the same track instead of quickly changing, and it's not like life is monotonous, just there isn't much to say. I could be totally sleep-deprived and have missed something monumental, but I'll check in my journal another day.
I think that my attitude during the doldrums is a good indicator of the attitude of who I really am - hopefully not sleep-deprived, but willing to work to make myself an instrument in the hands of God. His grace is sufficient to save me if I am willing to turn my hands, heart, and mind to Him... if I am willing to show that commitment and truly become more like Jesus Christ.
I'm autistic, ex-bipolar, and attracted to other guys (gay/SSA/whatever). More importantly, I'm a son of God and faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons). My life is usually amazing. This is my story of hope, happiness, and faith.
Friday, December 10
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I just fell upon your post. I totally disagree with you but I read your posts and think of you often. I wish you peace and hope the best for your life.
ReplyDeleteThere are two quotes that I like to think of when I go into these assigned faith-building exercise periods that you're in now(I don't know about you, but if I could live my life with one huge spiritual experience after another I would. Unfortunately thats not part of the plan). One is by Henri Fredric Amiel, and one is by Lawrence D. Bell:
ReplyDelete"What we call little things are merely the causes of great things; they are the beginning, the embryo, and it is the point of departure which, generally speaking, decides the whole future of an existence. One single black speck may be the beginning of a gangrene, of a storm, of a revolution."
and
"Show me a man who cannot bother to do little things and I'll show you a man who cannot be trusted to do big things."
Keep going brother. Thank you for your posts.