Time

It's been a while. Life has been stressful, and every time I write a blog post something pulls me away before I can finish. And then it happens again, and again, and again.

But in the end it just means I have some great unfinished journal entries. :)

In years past I felt really bad about not posting. (G)MG was part of my duties to the universe, and the longer I went without the bigger the need grew. I still feel the need, but it's not as urgent as it was. Hence the dozens of unfinished posts.

But whatever.

I haven't just forgotten blogging. I missed the North Star LDS conference - completely forgot that it was happening until it was over. I missed people's weddings. I missed birthdays. I missed home teaching appointments that I had personally set. My brain is just forgetting everything.

Part of it is probably stress. Nature's Fusions (my company) just fulfilled a massive order for the TJX group, which includes TJ MAXX and Marshalls. The oils had to have individual boxes, which was the major source of the stress... since the design went through too many iterations, the press wasn't going to be done in time, we weren't sure if we would be able to ship by the deadline...

It all worked out.

We also signed a commercial lease on a building - 2448 N University Parkway in Provo (where there used to be a Greek restaurant). We'll move manufacturing to the basement and then open a retail shop on the top floor.

I hired a friend to work for me knowing we'd need help with the TJX order and the new store, and every waking hour has been dedicated to the business.

Last week the stress hit its peak. I had sores in my mouth from stress, averaged 4 hours of sleep each night, and by the end couldn't handle being around people at all.

But it's good. Like I said, it all worked out... and the rest will work itself out as time moves on. I'm spending a bunch of time on Pinterest looking for retail store design ideas, filling rapidly growing orders from a bunch of new stores and resellers, scheduling trainings and sales pitches, renovating a building that has been empty for years and was trashed by prior tenants, trying to remodel our house to put it on the market, balancing meeting with missionaries and organizing the ward mission...

Life is good. I just wish I had more skills to accomplish the things I need to do. I know literally nothing about interior design, and circumstances have left me with the lion's share of making the new location work.

*sigh*

But there's definitely light at the end of the tunnel. One of the things I envisioned - that I'd really like to develop - is a DIY center where people can come to learn and make their own natural health products. The first piece will be a soap bar with melt & pour soap, silicone molds, natural liquid colors, and essential oils. Eventually we'll have ingredients to make a variety of natural home/bath/beauty/household products. And that's something I'm excited about. So even though right now is stressful, I'm glad that there's a goal in sight.

Still no dates recently. I haven't had time... and even though I've wanted to date, I don't know who to ask. There's a girl I met a while ago that I honestly thought about asking out, but she's dating another guy and they're trying to figure out if marriage is an option. I can't really offer much of anything compared to another guy except a whole lot of confusion... so if they break it off, then I'll ask her out. Otherwise I'd rather not. I want to date, but I have so little desire to date specific people that it makes life rough. If you could call it rough. My life is awesome. Compared to what it could be (minus the perspective of the gospel, for example), my problems aren't that big at all.

Before I forget and have to go to sleep to take my brother to the airport in 4 hours... I'm trying to create something out of Grace.

Grace this last semester was an a cappella group focused on uplifting music. I felt like it needed to switch to Christian music, and most of the group members opted to not continue because of time or style concerns. No one showed up to auditions.

But I had a feeling again to go in another direction, but I need help. I want Grace to become a fireside group focused on helping people see the gospel in action.

Background: I think the people at greatest risk of leaving the Church fall in two categories - those experiencing major trials, and those very close to them. The former are directly in the hand of God, and have tons of resources available for them. The latter - the people who see others suffering, but don't see the humility or the love of God or His hand touching their lives - those are the people I am most concerned will leave. And they are leaving. Because they don't have a testimony that the gospel works for everyone. And if it doesn't work to bring honest peace and happiness and joy in the face of ssa, or cancer, or death, or mental disorders, then it doesn't work at all.

So I want Grace to be an a cappella music group that shares that message. Composed of people who have gone through difficult life problems - major depression, mental illness, loss of a child or loved one, cancer, major eating disorders, abuse, same-sex attraction, war, disability, suicide - and who sing and each share the simple spoken message, "the gospel works for me." People who can show that they have found true and honest happiness in their lives by following God and, hopefully, inspire others to turn to God and find the same.

Eventually, once I can get it to work, I want to do firesides for young adults and family stakes, simply share the message, and then create a framework so that others who have gone through similar experiences can find ways to share their own story with the people in their community.

What reminded me of it was my brother today. In sacrament he spoke about having cancer, and how turning to God helped him find peace in his bitterness and despair. I think this is a message EVERYONE needs to hear.

So my request is this... if you know someone who has gone through a massive life trial, is currently really happy in following the gospel completely, loves to sing, sings well, lives in Utah valley, and would be willing to share their honest story with others... could you put them in contact with me? I'm not really sure where to begin looking. Everyone has had problems, but not everyone has found resolution, and not everyone is willing to share. And not everyone loves to sing. ;)

I should probably go to sleep now. I'm glad I finished this post. Hopefully it won't be months until the next.