Some days I wish the world would disappear. That all the stress and frustration and angst that I fight each day would wash away.
Some days I feel I have to be alone, but then feel the loneliness so keenly that I wish I couldn't feel at all.
Some days I look up at the sky and can't find pictures in the clouds. Just short breaths of shade between the blazing sunlight. No beauty in the wind whispering in the trees... just a short breath of relief from flies and bugs.
Some days I find it hard to deal with people who don't understand... who will probably never understand... and I wish that I were totally alone.
And some days, when nothing seems to help... I don't know what to wish for.
Today is one of those days.
I'm autistic, ex-bipolar, and attracted to other guys (gay/SSA/whatever). More importantly, I'm a son of God and faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons). My life is usually amazing. This is my story of hope, happiness, and faith.
Saturday, July 28
8 comments:
Comment Rules:
(G)MG is how I write to you. Commenting is one way to write to me.
If you want your comment published: No swearing, graphic content, name-calling of any kind, or outbound links to anything but official Church sites.
In addition, comments must be 100% relevant, funny, uplifting, helpful, friendly... well-written, concise, and true. Disparaging comments often don't meet those standards. Comments on (G)MG are personal notes to me, not part of a comment war. You are not entitled to have your ideas hosted on my personal blog. There are a zillion places for that, and only one (G)MG.
And I'd suggest writing your comment in Word and pasting it. That way Blogger won't eat it if it's over the word limit.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I'm sorry. Joy can be a very hard choice to make. I'll pray that you have the strength needed to choose it!
ReplyDeleteSending you lots of love and prayers that tomorrow feels much better than today. Whenever I'm feeling down, having quotes like the following always seems to help me cope. "Happiness is not given to us in a package that we can just open up and consume. Nobody is ever happy 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Rather than thinking in terms of a day, we perhaps need to snatch happiness in little pieces, learning to recognize the elements of happiness and then treasuring them while they last." ~ James E. Faust
ReplyDeleteBeen there. Sometimes I want to just fall asleep for a few days and not have that huge list of stuff that I have to do or that's stressing me out when I wake up. Just fall asleep, recharge those batteries, eat a big bowl of Kix and start fresh. That'll be the day, eh?
ReplyDeletedepression sucks ! I know, cuz I suffer too- luckily I have a good med that helps. I hope you try again, there's gotta be one out there that will help lift you out and allow life to be more manageable :)
ReplyDeleteAlma 38:5. :)
ReplyDeleteI've had those days. They are hard.
ReplyDeleteBut what you wrote is very beautiful.
All the best
I struggle with something that I have yet to see another person struggle with and because of this problem, something as simple as a dream or small reminder can swing me into a week long depression. Most days are better than others, but unfortunately, I have come to realize that I am alone in this. I can't talk to anyone, minus prayer. I believe in God, no question. But I can't help but feel untterly forgotten sometimes. Let me know when you figure out how to solve this problem. :/
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how many people can totally, totally, TOTALLY relate with this. Maybe it's safe to say nearly everyone feels like this at times?
ReplyDelete