Saturday, March 19

Food. And Junk. And Junk Food.

Sometimes I find myself eating pounds of junk food. Literally - pounds. I've been trying to figure out why, because for every pound of junk I eat I feel an equal portion of uncomfortable guilt, which eventually translates into a desire to go to the gym for hours on end. As much as I love the gym, having many hours to spend there is a thing of the past. And I feel physically awful after eating junk food. And I have no desire to move up in pant size.

So I've been looking at my consumption of junk food and trying to figure it out. I tend to eat junk food when it's available (I know, this is obvious... just stick with me), when I'm hungry and there's nothing healthy to eat, when I'm stressed, and when I'm waiting or thinking about something. I'm not much of a social junk food eater, which is nice. And as far as the quantity goes, I tend to eat all of what is available, whether it's junk food or not - hence the multiple pounds statement. I don't know why my body doesn't rebel more quickly.

So if I want to control my junk food consumption, I'll need to do the following:

1: Make it unavailable - don't buy it and hide it if it's already there. Avoid places where it's easy access.

2: Always have something healthy prepared to eat - meals and snacks.

3: Avoid stressing about life when junk food is around. Save my stress for somewhere else.

4: Don't wait or think in the presence of junk food. Go somewhere else.

5: Keep all my food in lots of little containers - that way when I end up eating it, I'm not gorging myself.

Now, you're probably wondering: "Um...
why is the post on (Gay) Mormon Guy on junk food? What does that have to do with anything?" 

Junk food is pretty easily turned into a symbol for sin. It destroys my body, digs pits in my teeth, ruins my self-esteem, spikes my insulin and gives me diabetes, clogs my arteries, and wreaks havoc on hormone balance... all the while promising in exchange about 4 minutes of ephemeral mouth-watering bliss. Yeah. Sin does about the same thing with my spirit.

So how do I avoid sin? I'm better at avoiding sin than I am avoiding junk food - that's for sure. But it's the same set of principles. Make it unavailable. Don't go places where there is easy access. Always have something meaningful and worthwhile to do. Realize the feelings that make me more vulnerable - like stress, depression, and fatigue - and stay in good environments when those feelings arise. Don't wait in the presence of sin. And I'm not sure how the last one fits into the metaphor.

Hopefully I can apply them in all ways... and eliminate both junk food and sin from my life.


  1. Me. Too. I've been reading up on a book that actually says the reasons that we eat can directly tie into our relationship with God. I don't know about that. I'm still sitting with it.

    But apparently I do agree that I am just giving up on myself in that moment. The times when I don't feel like I can handle it. I feel like the emotion will overwhelm me. That's when I feel like a little sugar vacation. Praying would be more advantageous.

    I'm told the key is to stop running away. That really feeling what I'm avoiding isn't that bad. I'm trying to get there.

  2. I am such a fan of yours... I repect you so much... I have always been very active Mormon... I was raised by an amazing family and never did a THING wrong thru high schcool.... I was the 4.25 gpa athletic mormon girl who could go whereever I wanted with scholorships in athletics or academics... I however decided to do my rebelling in marrying my first husband...a alcoholic, drug adict returned missionary( didn't know of the first 2 before hand)... I've lived the first husband said if I didn't drink with him I didn't love him, so I did, and truthfully it was fun....but I have NEVER not gone to church... I always had my testimony no matter how I was living. I have lived and worked in Hill crest in San Diego... Many of my co-workers returned missionary or not were gay... I undrstand Temptation... I love all Heavenly Father's children...I understand temptation... But I also understand a ultimate testimony that no matter what(be it attracted to men like you, or physically, emotionally and spiritually abused like me) our testimony doesn't change... I know and love a lot of gay men, but none that are still committed to living the gospel... I am a VERY happily married Mormon wife and mom now. Now as I am a mom I really reapect how you were raised and the mom that you had... I pray that I can raise my son he same way that no matter what temptation he faces he can still have his testimony intact... Thank you for showing me that is possible...

  3. I've said it before: we all struggle with one thing or another. We just have to keep resisting the urge to give in. It's a day to day thing, and some days are easier than others. But we can never let our defenses down - that's when it gets dangerous.


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