Thursday, October 14

Finding the One

“If a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray? And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray” (Matthew 18:12-13).

Over the last few days I’ve prayed about the topics I should address here. This blog, which was once a quiet place where each comment could expect a personal reply, has become a source of knowledge for a far broader audience than I ever imagined. The change is welcome, as my ability to make a difference in the world has grown… but I wonder. How can I meet the needs of a changing audience and also ensure that (Gay) Mormon Guy remains what it was intended to be – a haven where men and women who share my story can feel the Spirit and hope in their hearts?

There are hundreds of comments on my blog right now and a hundred more that need to be moderated or edited and reposted. Most of them are from good people who want to live better lives and understand their fellow men. And then, hidden amid the showers of praise, are the stories of men and women who have felt the Spirit here, changed, and now strive to live according to the principles they know to be true. The man who was struggling with same-sex attraction and, in his moment of need, found an ad posted in the personals section of Craigslist. The woman who had stopped attending church and was going to remove her name from the records. The man who was going to commit suicide. The wife who read each post, then learned the next day that her husband lived with same-sex attraction. These are the people for whom I write… the men and women who need the message most.

The Good Shepherd spent His time ministering to the people around Him. I can post a message of faith each day, but there are billions of people in the world who need the gospel. Even when I spend hours searching for people who need this message, my efforts are a drop in the bucket.

And so I’m asking for your help. Will you take the time, each time you read here, to share your testimony with someone who might need your help? To seek out someone who is looking for the truth? To share the light and knowledge that the gospel has brought into your life? As you read, ask the Lord for help in identifying people who are searching for light, and then follow the promptings that the Spirit gives.

I guess another reason why I am asking is because sharing my own testimony is the greatest thing I’ve ever done to overcome my trials in life. I know that, if I am struggling in life, sharing the gospel will help me no matter what trials I face. When I share the truth, the Lord blesses me. I can touch a brother’s life and help him come closer to Christ. I can find the one and rejoice with him. And together, we will walk the path to return to the fold.


  1. "I guess another reason why I am asking is because sharing my own testimony is the greatest thing I’ve ever done to overcome my trials in life."

    I cannot emphasize enough how true this is. I've had my fair share of trials in life, as everyone has, but sharing the gospel and my testimony has given me more strength and happiness than ANYTHING else. My mission taught me that, and I hope I can keep what I learned there for the rest of my life.

  2. Your strength and love for your fellowman is amazing. I applaud you and thank you for sharing your testimony. I thank you for inspiring me among so many others. We know the truth, therefore we cannot and should not be silent about it. Live what we know, and share it with as many as we can. Thanks for the motivation!

  3. Thank you for this post. Just this morning I was praying about how to reach out to a loved one who seems headed away from the path. I asked for inspiration as I read my scriptures, and I happened to be reading in Alma 31 and 32. The answer I got was that I needed to share my testimony with her, to "try the virtue of the word of God." I tried to start an email to her several times but I couldn't figure out how to do it. So I hopped on my feed reader to burn time...and found this. Thank you so much. This has nothing to do with SSA but it was a reaffirmation of what I need to do. Thank you again.

  4. "I guess another reason why I am asking is because sharing my own testimony is the greatest thing I’ve ever done to overcome my trials in life."

    Agreed. Fully. Absolutely. Sharing the truth of the love that our Lord and Savior, and our Heavenly Father both have for us is the absolute best medicine I have found for conquering doubt, anger, resentment, fear, and pain. Our Heavenly Father knows and loves us all, and I can't thank you enough for helping me to remember that this week. :-D

  5. I just finished reading your entire blog and am so impressed by your testimony and faith. You have inspired me to make some changes in my life.

    I have a question related to your dating process. You don't have to respond or even post this to your blog if you don't want - I'm just hoping you'll think about it.

    For most guys, physical attraction is the most important thing when it comes to choosing someone to date. For most girls, however, it's not. Physical attraction is part of it but as long as they are not repulsed by a guy, there are other things that create attraction within them such as sense of humor, wit, intelligence, thoughtfulness, and other aspects of their personality. Girls are drawn to these things like guys are drawn to physical appearance and attraction stems from it or is at least magnified by it.

    When there is an absence of physical attraction, such as your case when it comes to girls, it is possible to be attracted to other things about a person. You just have to look at it more like most girls do rather than like most guys do. You've mentioned that because of the lack of physical attraction you focus on whether a girl can hold a conversation. Possibly there are other things you look for that you just haven't talked about, but there's definitely a lot more to it. What about girls who are really shy or introverted but who are amazing and fun once they know someone a little bit? Maybe a girl who initially is not at all talented with fun conversation is a girl you could be attracted to and fall in love with.

    It is evident through your writing that you are a selfless, thoughtful person who often puts others before yourself. I wonder if you've carried this over into your dating life. You could look at it as you've been blessed to be apathetic about what girls look like so you don't have to overcome the shallow focus entirely on looks that most guys have. There are a lot of girls at BYU who are amazing people, but who don't get asked out either because they are not classically beautiful or because they are quiet or struggle to hold a conversation, at least before they know someone better. Or maybe they do get asked out but more often by guys who are also shy and quiet and introverted. It sounds like you are a fun, outgoing guy and there are a lot of girls who wouldn't dream of being approached by a guy like you.

    I know how important physical attraction is and maybe this won't make it any easier. But maybe if you take the focus entirely off yourself and just look for having charity, the pure love of God, for a girl you wouldn't normally ask out... maybe.

    I love your blog. It has given me a better understanding of what some of my friends and family are experiencing and has also provided insight for my own life. I feel chastened, uplifted and renewed all at once. Impressive.

  6. I have to say that, lately, the statistics about young single LDS people leaving the church chill me. It's like there are presently LOTS of people out there just looking for some trigger that will justify their taking off and going another way. I don't understand this - this quibbling over imagined disappointments and offenses - as in the reaction to Brother Packer's talk. This "intellectualizing" of the church - reminds me of attitudes I ran into at University, a sort of smug superiority. It almost seems like some kind of intellectual influenza, and it seems to be spreading fast.

    As you say, I think that the quiet and steady and passionate/intelligent bearing of testimony is the only weapon we have against this. There is some kind of weird onslaught going on that only - again - a quiet expression of testimony will be able to stem - if anything can.

    It really has been scaring me lately.

  7. I just wanted you to know that you are my hero. Seriously. I do not struggle with SSA, but I have a family member who does. You have an amazing way of communicating. There are a lot of blogs out there written by LDS gays, but yours is the only one I have read that is filled with hope, truth, and the spirit. You stick to gospel standards. People need to hear this view point. People need to know that it is possible. Thank you.

  8. I sure wish it was my daughter who said she was reconsidering having her name removed from Church records but I'm certain it isn't. She's too angry with President Packer. But I did show her your blog and am praying that she may find it in her heart to read your posts and find her way back. I actually have two daughters suffering from this and it's heartbreaking because I know how difficult it is for them. I know your wish is for your story to give those suffering with SSA hope; but please know it gives hope to their family members as well...thank you so much for sharing and being so open about your life. I continue to pray for you, my girls, and all others dealing with this.


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