Having good friends is amazing. I love having people I can sit and talk to - people who want to sit and talk with me for as long as time permits. We talk about dating, and Church, and work, and life, and everything from psychology to art to science to math to music. We laugh so hard that our faces and stomachs hurt, and throughout the day we remember each other while we're cooking or studying or writing a paper... and then tell our respective stories when we meet up again, starting over from where we left off without a hitch.
I haven't always had a group of good friends I could turn to. For most of my life, I played the part of an introvert. I was totally and completely alone, and I was ok with that. I was just a private person. No one understood me, and no one needed to - God understood me and that was enough. But being attracted to guys is an isolating experience... one that can easily make me feel alone even among the people who love me... because, even though they may try, they can never understand what I am going through.
As I struggled with feeling so incredibly alone, I turned to God for help. His first answer helped me realize that there were people around me who felt the same way. Granted, they weren't guys attracted to guys, but there were girls who struggled with depression, guys who had broken up with a girlfriend, and just normal people who felt alone in a crowd. I had asked God for help in overcoming my loneliness, and He told me to reach out to others. I was expecting someone to reach out to me. It doesn't work that way.
So I developed the skills and ability to reach out - to focus my life on others and help them to feel loved. And, slowly, my own needs were met as I helped others. I felt less alone. I found happiness in helping others feel loved. And I found good friends as I tried to be a good friend myself.
I'm autistic, ex-bipolar, and attracted to other guys (gay/SSA/whatever). More importantly, I'm a son of God and faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons). My life is usually amazing. This is my story of hope, happiness, and faith.
Tuesday, September 21
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I swear I could plaigiarise this whole post, and it will still apply to me. Eloquently put, Mormon Guy.
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog a couple of weeks ago and stayed up late one night reading all your posts.I was really impressed by your dedication to the gospel and the way you have used various gospel principles.You have an immense amount of faith and a great relationship with our Heavenly Father .I found all your posts really inspirational.
That night I stayed up late my husband woke me up in the middle of the night saying he had to talk to me about something.He told me how he had been struggling all these years as he was sexually abused by some men when he was a little boy and had had some feelings towards men that he didn't feel comfortable about.I had no idea about this,he is an absolutely wonderful husband and father,very strong in the Church.I felt so bad for him and silently prayed about what I could say to him.Your blogs came into my mind that I had just read that night,how you had overcome so many things and were so positive.We wept together and prayed together.He went to see the bishop and feels so much better now.He read all your blogs and said how much they helped him,thanks so much.
I hope you can meet a lovely woman someday and have the family and the life you want.
BLB: Thanks for the compliment. On plagiarism... most people probably don't notice this, but at the bottom of (Gay) Mormon Guy is my viewpoint on the topic. "Please spread the word. Content on this blog may be reposted to help others." A hyperlink back to the original post would be nice, too, but ultimately this work - helping people come closer to Christ - is about the message... not about the messenger.
ReplyDeleteScotlass: Thank you. Each day I post here, I pray that I can write something that will help someone... and I cried as I read how God directed you here to help your husband. I'm grateful that I could be a part of that in some way.
That's my dream for (Gay) Mormon Guy - to be an answer to prayers and a catalyst to heal families. Thank you for sharing your story... and welcome.
WOW! I am completely overwhelmed by your goodness. Truly the Lord has sent you to this earth for such a time as this. Never have I understood the depth and struggle of same sex attraction until reading your blog. I'm certain that God gave you this incredible gift of expression (writing) as well as this incredible trial to benefit mankind and bring souls out of darkness. I am lifted and deepened by encountering you. All people every where need to read your blog.
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