Saturday, October 27

Abridging All of (Gay) Mormon Guy

One of the takeaways from talking to my family is that they don't want to have to read 300 posts spanning two-and-a-half years to understand how same-sex attraction factors into my life. They want a few articles that give them a broad overview of all the topics at hand.

So I'm compiling a list of the most worthwhile posts from my blog and official Church sites. I want to be somewhat concise yet touch the breadth of emotions that my blog covers.

Obviously, I'd love your feedback.

If you were (or are) just learning about same-gender attraction and its impact on me as your brother/cousin/nephew/neighbor/teacher/student/classmate/colleague/boss/friend... would these articles be enough to help you get a grasp on what's happening in my life?

Once the list is ironed out, I'll probably make it into an Introduction/Start Here page. I've needed one of those.

Blog Posts:
A Curse? A Trial? A Blessing in Disguise?
Proposition 8. And all related issues
Just a Touch of His Robe...
A Light Inside the Tunnel
President Packer's Talk... From a (Gay) Mormon Perspective
But If Not...
One Today at a Time
Bigoted, Hateful, and Homophobic
Kissing Guys
Homosexuality Isn't Just About Sexuality
Childhood memories

Church Resources:
God Loveth His Children
Same-Gender Attraction (official statement of the Church; interview with Elder Oaks & Wickman)

Oh. And my timeline for Phase 2 & 3 of merging worlds (close friends, then people who are actively involved in my life) may have gotten shorter. I forgot to ask my bishop not to mention it to anyone.


  1. Replies
    1. Thanks for the comment, Ryan. The Proposition 8 post is about the Family Proclamation - not about Proposition 8. Do you feel it's too narrow, or that it can be subsumed in another post?

      My current family members have felt that it's been really useful, as it helps them see how the Family Proclamation applies in diverse situations and gives them the invitation to determine where they stand for themselves.

    2. Ehh, I think if you focus so much on "I say what the Church wants me to say" you'll make it difficult for yourself when you have doubts. When it comes to family, the focus should be on getting them (and yourself) to accept the possibilities that can be realities. Right now it seems you're trying to come from a place of "Love me because I'm not like those other gay Mormons" or "Be grateful that's not me" type stuff. What if that is you one day?

    3. Thanks for the feedback. I'm not sure what you mean by "what the Church wants me to say"... as I only share what I honestly feel. The possibility that can become a reality in my case, at least that I can see, is that someday I have a miracle, fall in love with a girl, get married in the temple, and she is the only girl I ever fall in love with and we work together to find happiness for the rest of life.

      And I'm not asking for people to love me. They already do. I'm just helping them understand another part of my life.

  2. I did not make it through all of the above links, but I liked the following three the most:

    A Curse, A Trial, A Blessing . . .
    Bigoted, Hateful, and Homophobic
    Homosexuality Isn't Just About Sex

    Re the Proclamation, be aure to inform/remind the active Mormons that the church edited out President Packer's comment about it being scripture. It is not scripture.

  3. In reading your original post, I'm saddened for you, that you even have to do this. I hope it brings the blessings that you want from it and that it's worth it in the end.

    I did read 2 of your post posts that I had not read before to catch me up on you. One of them being the one about same-gender attraction not just being about sex. That helped me understand some things that apply to other areas too. Thank you.

    I did however remember Carolyn Pearson's book "goodbye, I love you" about her marriage to a man who had same-gender attraction. I'm wondering if you have read that. I don't know if it will help or hurt, but if you haven't read it, maybe you should.

    I have to admit that I'm curious as to what you look like.

    I pray things go well for you in this endeavor. May the Lord bless you.

    1. Becky -

      Why are you saddened by this?

    2. Because it's hard, because it hurts you, because it changes things and change can often be hard. I feel protective of you. You've had enough hurt. Do you really need more? But I know you must do what the Spirit is directing you to do. So although it will be hard, there are blessings underneath the hard. Go forth and be safe.

  4. I think your tagline on your blog should be included. It is upbeat and hopeful and sets the tone of "I got this! no worries! " Well, at least as your testimony goes, perhaps :)

    I apologize, I don't want my comments to to sound rude....

    But maybe your news won't come as a shock to some ... Some commenters have mentioned about 'wondering if' (they are gay) meaning a friend and/or someone they know.

    I would think most hot-blooded American males who aren't married would sort of stand out as Hmmm... 'I wonder..' Especially guys who are over a certain age. Because usually guys are...well, y'know... :)

    Plus, sometimes a guy can come across effeminate as well and then again... Hmm. 'I wonder..'

    Not sure how you are, obviously, but maybe it's something to think about??

  5. I had a friend suggest I read Ty Mansfield's book, In Quiet Desperation, and that helped me understand a lot. I think your blog posts covered a lot, especially as far as abridging goes. I haven't read all your posts since I just started following recently, but just thought I would toss in this awesome book for maybe a more in depth look?


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