Sunday, March 20

A Drop in the Ocean

As I go down the street each day, I watch the people around me... and I wonder about their lives. What is their relationship with God like? What struggles do they face? How do they find symbolism in their lives and come closer to Christ? And, who teaches them? Who will bless them and change their lives - help them find the strength they need to be saved? There are thousands, millions of people who are searching for faith... and I feel as if I am standing in the midst of a churning, starving multitude, with a handful of bread and some fish... wondering how I could ever feed anyone but myself and maybe a few people on either side.

On my mission I felt the same way. I would watch people go by and wonder about them and their lives... wonder how I could ever make an impact on their families and help them understand the principles of salvation in only two years. So I just went to work.

In the time since, I've realized the true symbolism in the miracle of Christ feeding the 5000. There was a boy with five loaves and two fishes... and Christ took them, gave thanks, blessed them, and gave unto the multitude... and twelve baskets of fragments were taken up after everyone was filled. More often than not, I am the little boy - having brought my meager portion to listen to the Lord... and scared and confused when the Lord asks me to give Him what I have. I'm no one special. My experiences are my own... and often I wonder if they would really help anyone... or if they're worth reading in the first place.

But there are people out there, and so it's worth it... and God takes my loaves and fishes and sends them where He will. From the mother who is concerned about her daughter, to the father who is concerned about his son, to the brother who is trying to come back to faith or the sister at his side. From the niece praying for her uncle or the fathers and mothers wanting to repent and become better spouses and parents to their children... to the 14-year-old boy, wondering how to go on with life, who would normally never even think of googling a search term like "gay Mormon guy." And somehow, something touches their hearts and turns them to Christ, who fills them with His love.

There is still so much work to do... but I'm not alone. There are others who have come with their own loaves and fishes... and with each new miracle, others arrive. And Christ Himself is ever waiting to strengthen & feed all those who come unto Him.


  1. I totally feel the same way. You are fantastic!

  2. You know, I taught Gospel Doctrine yesterday and it was on Matthew 11:28-30, my yoke is easy and my burden is light. All too often we try to carry our own burdens, somewhat as a pride factor. It also prohibits us from being able to help others and assist in lightening their loads... afterall isn't that a reason we are here, to act as Christ did and help others?

    It can definitely be heartbreaking how we tend to fend for ourselves and don't reach out to other people. I promise you, that even though you may feel you are not anyone special, that perhaps you could just get lost in the crowd, that your voice DOES impact others and your story is important. I am often surprised at the people I impact :)

  3. Thanks for being strong enough to change your blog name to catch those google searches. It attracts what you are also NOT looking for, and I appreciate you putting yourself out there.

  4. Ok, I know this is random, but I'm hoping someone can help me. (And yes, I got (Gay) Mormon Guy's blessing to write this:

    One of my journalism colleagues at Arizona State University is looking for a faithful Mormon who has same-sex attraction. She wants to interview someone about the difficulties on being a faithful Latter-day Saint, and why it's so important to live the Gospel when it would be easier to just live the way the world wants you to.

    This person needs to live in the Phoenix area, or close by. IF there's anyone interested, please e-mail me at

  5. Yesterday a woman approached me with a problem she was having. I am the RS president so this happens often. I understand problems now, I never did before, but now I get is not about what we think it is not about the cancer, or the infidelity, it isn't about being gay, or is about our relationship with the Savior. All of these things bring us on bended knee to the Savior, and that is all there is to it. We are here on in a fallen world to learn to depend on the Savior..we have no control on so many is just Him.

  6. WOW! That's beautiful!
    "Humble, submissive, patient, willing..." All of those and more. You are BEAUTIFUL.
    I love all things beautiful.
    Thank you!

  7. Reading this today... right now... was not a coincidence. Thanks for being the boy with the meager portion of bread; I'm one of the many who has been fed by it! :D

    And you have helped me to realize that I also have a meager portion of bread to keep sharing. I think we all do, but most just don't know it. These thoughts an beliefs began to take root in me this past Sunday when we studied this story in Sunday School. I took notes, intending to blog about it. And your post today reminded me of the message I so quickly lost sight of, and of the need to remember and share.

    Thank you!
    You really are fabulous! ;D
    Corine :D


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