Tuesday, November 2

Fame, Fortune, and Feelings about them both

Half a dozen reporters have asked me to share my story on TV or appear in public. Some of them promised national fame, others promised fame while preserving anonymity. And others just wanted a story… some way to attach a name, face, and voice to Mormon Guy.

I've thought about each offer. Each one came from someone who felt that the message needed to be shared, and was trying to do his part to share it. And, on that level, it would be an amazing way to share the message with thousands of people. 

But it doesn't feel right.

If I were being showcased for an amazing voice or outstanding accomplishments, it would be different. But I'm not outstanding or amazing… and I'm not a poster boy for living the gospel. I'm not a leader of an underground movement. I have absolutely no authority or official anything on the subject. I'm just another guy who lives his life and shares his testimony on a blog. And, at least in my perspective, I shouldn't be plastered on TV when there are so many unwritten stories of men and women so much better than I am. Yes, we need more uplifting newscasts. But it doesn't come from shining a spotlight on one person - it comes from shining the light on the message of hope and peace… and the influence that Christ has in our lives. We don't reward or honor people for paying their tithing, fulfilling their Church responsibilities, or keeping the word of wisdom… and with good reason. Who is good but God alone?

I didn't start writing this blog to become famous. And, as much as I love each of you, someday I'll stop writing here. And when that happens, or before, I hope that you realize that this isn't about me. Maybe something I said resonated with you, once. Maybe the Spirit taught you something. But ultimately I'm not the teacher here. I'm not the example. Christ is - and I hope that comes across in the things that I write.

I'm not a voice in the wilderness, crying for change. I'm not saying anything that is really unique or amazing. Mine is a story of imperfection and failure, sin and suffering, repentance and again seeing the light. I'm just telling my story - and, while I'm an individual son of God, truthfully, I believe that anyone could tell the same story… and does, by simply living according to the light of the gospel, no matter what life brings.


  1. i love this post. thank you so much for your perpesctive.

  2. I think your anonymity is part of your strength. Currently you have the peace, privacy and opportunity to express yourself on your own terms with dignity. I think that's priceless.

  3. I agree with Neal. Your anonymity is part of your strength. But as a working journalist, I still think your story needs to be out there.

    It's not because I think you need wordly fame or anything like that. But a story needs to be told. Too many people are out there saying that being a righteous Mormon with same-sex attraction is an impossible thing to do. They fire shots at the Church, saying they're out of touch on their stance on these subjects.

    And yet, here you are doing it, line by line, precept by precept, here a little there a little. Of course it's the Spirit working on us. Of course you couldn't have done this without the help of your loving Savior. But I still think the story needs to be told. If I did it, I'd give you anonymity and no photos.

    Why? Because there's thousands of people out there just like you. And they think they're all alone. Some of them might be thinking of quitting this struggle and just giving in to the "natural man."

    Sure, they could find you on this blog, and I hope they do. I'm sure attempting to tweet out your posts as much as I can, because I find them incredibly moving. But don't you think a bigger platform might reach more people and give more of them hope?

    I used to work for the Deseret News' Mormon Times. I still have friends there. I'm positive I could get a story about this done well. But even if you said no, my respect for you doesn't change. I hope you write for a long time. There are so many of us — heterosexual and with same-sex attraction, Mormon and of other faiths — that need this voice.

    I hope you never stop. God be with you always.


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