I'm autistic, ex-bipolar, and attracted to other guys (gay/SSA/whatever). More importantly, I'm a son of God and faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons). My life is usually amazing. This is my story of hope, happiness, and faith.
Friday, November 26
Strength to Bear My Burdens
I listened to Elder Oaks in his October 2006 General Conference talk - He Heals the Heavy Laden... and something inside of me is calling out for me to give the Lord complete control of my life - to trust Him completely and fully. In my case that means enjoying a short vacation from life instead of brooding over the major issues that currently seem to face me. Becoming more carefree. Living life and actually enjoying it. Sometimes I think way too much about life and, in some cases, it makes it hard to enjoy when I see things I didn't need to see or understand.
The Lord is willing to carry my burden. I just need to allow Him to carry my load - to give Him permission to help me be happy even if He doesn't take away my trials. Am I willing to allow Him more fully into my life? It may still be a while until the clouds clear and I find an eternal companion... but in the meantime I think it makes sense to just move forward. Spend time with girls and guys. Find things I enjoy and do them just because. Don't stress about falling in love with guys instead of girls - I'm not going to do anything against the commandments; the Lord will give me strength to carry my burdens even if He never lifts them from my shoulders. ... And maybe it's better that way. I think I'd rather be strong in the face of affliction instead of having all my trials disappear.
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The Lord never gives you anything you can't handle. I've been silently reading your posts for the last few months and am so impressed with the strength of your testimony. Can you imagine where you would be without your trials? If I am right, your strength of testimony has come from your immense trials. I think we learn things in two ways 1. We make a mistake, recognize it, change, and learn. 2. We live righteously and having no (okay less) mistakes, we are blessed with trials to help us learn. It is definitely better to learn through trials brought through our righteousness than through our mistakes. That way we don't have to take a few steps backwards first. That's my personal take on things though.
ReplyDeleteI am sure you have learned that if you do your best, Heavenly Father will bless you. 3 Ne. 14 is coming to mind, your Father will give you good gifts. Trust that he will take care of everything, because he will. I have a professor who always says "Everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay, then it's not the end." Day to day living is the hardest part of life (trust me it's also the hardest part of marriage) but it is so vital to do it right. You're important to God, and if something is important to you, it's also important to him! God loves you and will always take care of you :)
I totally agree. How are we to learn if we don't have those trials to teach us.
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