I'm autistic, ex-bipolar, and attracted to other guys (gay/SSA/whatever). More importantly, I'm a son of God and faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons). My life is usually amazing. This is my story of hope, happiness, and faith.
Friday, November 5
The Lord Will Fulfill His Promises
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This post reminded me of my own patriarchal blessing. In my blessing, like in yours, I am told that I will marry a righteous woman and do many great things in the church here. I was dealing with SSA when I received my blessing, and I remember feeling utter confusion.
ReplyDeleteI have never fallen in love with a woman, but like you, I know that God works miracles. He will always fulfill his promises if we accomplish the work.
I have to do the work. It is weird for me to ask women out and try to pursue any kind of relationship that is more than platonic. I would rather grab something to eat with a guy and spend time with him. I just remind myself that God loves me and promised to give me a family and wife here on earth. I am not there yet, but I know that I won't get there if I don't begin somewhere.
Thanks for the reminder. My blessing promises children. I've gone without for almost a decade... and still waiting. Sometimes I think I might have done something wrong so He's keeping that blessing from me. But I believe it's more along the lines of what you said, "He intends to keep them. That He will keep them, and fulfill them in His own due time." Maybe I should be praying for patience instead of kids.
ReplyDeleteHi! It's not just you and a few others who have these feelings of confusion regarding patriarchal blessings. I'm a married woman with two children. But way back when I received my blessing, I too was confused. It said I "would enjoy motherhood". At the time I didn't like or enjoy kids and didn't want to have children, honestly. Now I have my own children and it's exactly what was promised, I enjoy motherhood. I have other experiences that I have felt the same way....confusion and doubt...until God's promises are actually fulfilled. The clarity comes when we eventually find ourselves where we are supposed to be, and then we finally comprehend and understand. I'm still waiting for other blessings that were promised but it comes in it's due time. Everybody stuggles with one thing or another and it's hard to envision the beautiful end result and how to get there, but when it does happen we'll all look back and wonder what we were all so worried about. Heavenly Father loves us and WILL bless us with those things he has promised if we endure.
ReplyDeleteI have a very dear friend of mine who is deeply in love with a man who also suffers with SSA. They've gone to the temple, and are now pregnant with their first child. From reading their story and talking with her, they were honest with each other from the start. They dated and prayed a lot. And became great friends that blossomed into a romantic relationship.
ReplyDeleteWhat God promises us in our patriarchal blessing sometimes feel like who could that ever happen. But it can. If we just have faith in Him, do what we are suppose to everyday and just pray and go to the temple if you can. I know this to be true. Because I've had to put "faith in every footstep" myself. It's hard work, but the pay off is amazing!
This is exactly what I needed to read today! My patriarchal blessing promises a husband and children but I'm at a point in my life where I just don't see it happening. I guess I have a hard time believing that a good man could love me because of my past.
ReplyDeleteGod's timing sure isn't ours, but He does keep each and every promise He makes. I'm glad for the reminder. Thank you.
Your story is heartening. We all have our challenges in this world, and I have mine but SSA is not one of them. But Many of us have friends w/ this issue, and even just living in these times it is obvious that this is a situation that is intensifying and being politicized. I pray that you will find happiness and peace in this life and I look to your example of how to face difficult challenges w/ patient faith. Hang in there, and kudos to you for choosing the right daily in difficult circumstances.
ReplyDeleteThis post came in part as an answer to my prayers as of late. I thank you for posting whenever you are inspired to write.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reminder. I believe the Lord will fulfill His promises to all of us.
ReplyDeleteIn my own life, I have seen how bad choices can negate the Lord's promises, at least until I repent and change my ways and come unto Christ.
Mine promises that children will be born to me and my husband and I've been married and childless for 9 years. I believe God keeps His promises according to His timetable, not mine.
ReplyDeletewow, i dont even know where to start. I have read so many things on this blog that are moving but none more relevant than this. My son has dealt with ssa from an early age. (Actually he is my stepson. His bio father was emotionally abusive at an early age and that reeked havoc on his tender soul. So I have with love raised him and he has truly become my son) He has the same promise in his patriarchal blessing. He has in the past been attracted to girls but experienced a crushing experience in middle school when he expressed those feelings and the girl who was supposedly his friend chastised him saying "we can't be together your gay". She was popular and he wanting to be accepted by her and by everyone else so he took on the identity of being gay. This experienced was so damaging in many ways but mainly two. First it caused him to believe the lies that Satan was telling him, at least for a time, next it made it near impossible for him to explore any attractions he had to girls in the future. His and our family story that surrounds his battle is complicated and powerful so I won't go into details but suffice to say he has gone through ups and downs on his journey. Experiencing great pain but also great comfort in the Lord and strength in serving. He is now serving a mission and has resolve that he will have the family that the lord has promised. His philosophy is that he doesn't need to be attracted to Girls (plural) just one girl that is the right girl for him. He actually has experienced more attraction to certain girls in later teen years but it just seemed when progress was made the adversary would bring some distraction that would destroy his confidence. But words cannot express the respect I have for my son as I have watched him battle with this issue and other major life struggles. Every stumble is followed with a jump up and sprint to righteousnesses. His progress and current faith can be attributed to one main thing; he knows who he is, where he came from and where he is going if he remains faithful. We love our son so much and are with him every step of the way unconditionally. we are very active members and his mother and I were raised in active and a bit old fashion families. Old fashion but loving and Christ centered. He has the love and support of a lot of people. It makes my heart go out to those who feel alone in going through this. For those of you who have been shunned or abandoned by friends and family due to your ssa, please know that you are loved and wanted and needed in the Lords kingdom here on earth and throughout eternity. You are not alone! You have a host of brothers and sisters who love you, who have their struggles and adversity, maybe different maybe the same but we all have it. Satan wants you to feel alone. Isolation is yet another tool he uses to convince you of his lies that you don't count or don't belong. He will also use your isolation to convince you that the Lords church doesn't love you or want you. THIS IS A LIE!!!!! My son has received so much love and support from those priesthood leaders who know about his ssa it just leaves me speechless. Ok I am really rambling... I'll close now but let me leave you with this, I don't know the cause or reasons behind why some develop ssa, but through exhaustive research and effort along side my son I believe to have somewhat an understanding as to why he developed it. What we have found strengthens my testimony of this gospel and who we really are. There is hope for change and a surety of peace when we follow the Lord jesus Christ. If the lord has made a promise he will deliver. It may not be according to our mortal timing or understanding but if we do our part he will deliver. Stay strong my brothers and sisters. We love you and pray for you daily.
ReplyDeleteI'm preparing to marry my Love, and he struggles with SSA. We found each other at an unexpected time in an unexpected place. He never thought he'd get married, I suspected I never would. Here were are though. Keep following the Lord and He will take care of you, and He'll prepare a special girl for you who will accept all of you, and love you for who you are. It'll be a miracle, and you'll both know it, and your relationship will be benefited for it. Keep going.
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this. And for having this blog. It is so good to see someone struggling from ssa who still is strong in the gospel and tries to follow in christs footsteps regardless of your trials. I see many who hate the church because of this issue. Or many in the church who hate people with ssa simply because they don't understand. I believe you are helping us all to better understand and helping those who are struggling with ssa to have hope and faith and trust in god to make things right when he feels It is the best time for us. I myself have my trials and am trusting in the lord to help me out when he feels the time is right. May we all love each other the way jesus loves us. May we all have the strength, willpower, and endurance to make it to the end. May we all make it home safely. You will be in my prayers. <3
ReplyDeletefrom what ive read on this blog your a truely humble man and i think we all have to remember that we're young in the eternities god will fufill his promise i know he will and you will find a woman who admires and respects and most importantly loves you for the challenges yuove overcome and faced. dont worry it will happen.xx
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