The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
I was in the temple with a group of youth the other day, helping officiate while they did baptisms and confirmations. Everything seemed pretty normal until we got to baptisms. Then it was pretty apparent that two of the other men wanted to baptize and wanted everyone else to stand by the font and witness. Being a witness in the temple is an amazing responsibility and opportunity, and I really enjoyed it. But as time went on and I realized that no one else would have the opportunity to actually perform baptisms, I felt a bit put out. That feeling shocked me - was I really feeling a sense of entitlement in the temple? I looked inside myself and realized that yes, I was. For whatever reason, I felt entitled to do the things I wanted...
Another opportunity to baptize came up, and another man literally jumped from his seat to take the spot. Something inside me felt awful... and yet I stayed. And thought, "Maybe tonight the Lord is trying to help me not have a feeling of entitlement. Maybe He wants me to be happy with my lot in life... even if it never changes." So I changed my perspective, and witnessing the baptisms on the side of the font became an incredible opportunity.
Then, as we were about to leave, the coordinator came out and asked me to do a few additional baptisms, then more, then more... and as I was baptized and performed baptisms in the temple that night, the Lord reaffirmed the promise that He has given me so many times. "I love you. I haven't forgotten you. And I promise you that someday, your prayers and your righteous desires will be fulfilled. You'll fall in love with a woman, raise a righteous family, and find fulfillment in your life. I promise you this..."
It will take time and effort. But it will happen.
And nothing else matters.
I'm autistic, ex-bipolar, and attracted to other guys (gay/SSA/whatever). More importantly, I'm a son of God and faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons). My life is usually amazing. This is my story of hope, happiness, and faith.
Saturday, November 27
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That was beautiful, and isn't that entitlement shocking! It's like a plague on society, but they don't even realize it. I'm glad that you do, and that you can show a great example.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post. Thank you for the reminder.
ReplyDelete