I went on a date tonight. I met a girl a few days ago and we had a short conversation, so I thought I'd give it a try. We went with another couple (I knew the guy), which ended up being a really good thing, since when we arrived at our destination the place was totally packed. We couldn't get in. So we made up games, played, talked, and walked around in the rain until we were tired enough to go home and eat dessert. It was a good evening. We laughed, got lost, had fun, and talked about everything from movies to psychology. I think I may schedule another one. No sparks yet (I didn't want to shake her hand or give her a hug at the end... so I didn't), but maybe it will happen.
Friday nights have often been difficult for me - in my heart I realize that I should be out dating; at the same time, it's sometimes hard to date. Who to date. Where to go. What to do. What to plan as a backup. Who to ask if the first person says no. When to start. Whether to eat or not. Way too many questions and decisions. Sometimes I just feel like picking up the Friday night shift at the temple. They always need more workers anyway, right? I would totally do it, but it would feel like running away.
Friday nights have become easier as I involve other people in making my plans - going on group dates or double dates, asking girls what kinds of things they'd like to do, etc. And I've learned that asking in advance is a really good idea. Some girls can do the spontaneous thing. Most, like me, don't often have a completely flexible schedule for spontaneity. So I ask a few days beforehand. it works , sometimes it doesn't. We'll see.
I'm autistic, ex-bipolar, and attracted to other guys (gay/SSA/whatever). More importantly, I'm a son of God and faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons). My life is usually amazing. This is my story of hope, happiness, and faith.
Friday, August 27
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Im curious, do you have friends that are girls and are just that, friends? Where both of you know its not a date, but just friends seeing a flik/trying out a restaurant, etc. If you wanted to see a particular movie are there any girls you could call up on a whim?
ReplyDeleteThese are just thoughts running through my head as I read through the posts.
ClistyB:
ReplyDeleteWhile that might sound nice on the outside, it's a bit of an impossibility in my current culture. In the young unmarried life where I live, the really good guys hang out with the intention of pairing off - not just to be friends. And, due to my own choices, callings, and just making life simpler for people around me, I fall into that category. We don't hang out for long. We make friends and then date (and once you ask someone on a date, you can't really ever 'hang out' again) until we break it off... and then, most of the time, we find new friends.
If I wanted to see a movie, there are girls I could call... but I've dated almost every single one. Or now they're married. So either they would get the wrong idea and say yes, or they would get the wrong idea and say no. I just don't watch movies anymore. For things other than movies, I find it's much easier to try to find a date (which sometimes takes me back to square one).
Thanks for your comment / question. I hope you were able to find something here to help your friend, as well.
I am not sure I agree with the comment, "the really good guys hang out with the intention of pairing off."
ReplyDeleteI grew up in Orem, Utah; therefore, I was fully immersed in the Mormon culture, and the constant need to seek a companion thwarted my one unfulfilled desire.
I always wanted really good, close guy friends, but it seemed if they didn't have romantic interest then they wouldn't pursue friendship. I was always bummed about that.
I still have the unfulfilled need for a close guy friend! Someone I can just call when I want to get away from girl drama or when I need to be held. Now I am 26, and I think I just will have to let that dream die!
But in College, I just wanted to gather all guys into one room and say, "It's ok to hang out with a girl you do not have romantic interest in. It's called FRIENDS!!!" :P
Sorry I know this post has nothing to do with your intended purpose for this blog, but it related to this particular post.