It's been raining a lot recently. I love sunny days, but thunderstorm speak to me in a way that sunshine never could. I've also been spending way too much time inside. So I decided to go rain-walking.
I knocked on a few doors and found someone who was willing to just go walking in the rain. We talked about our missions, our love of people, and things we loved about our ward. Lightning flared, thunder roared, and we just walked in the rain.
When you deal with major struggles in life, it can seem to always be raining. Trials, temptations, and struggles make it hard to see the light of the sun that is shining behind the clouds. So what do I do? Cowering under my bed in fear, depression, and confusion doesn't fix any of my problems. Instead, I give thanks for a God who is actively involved in my life, a God who cares about me and gives me the ingredients necessary for my salvation. And then I go walk in the rain.
Yes, I will get wet. Yes, it will be cold and probably lonely. And perhaps I will be walking, alone, for a long, long time. But as I walk, I've found an inner fire that keeps me warm and dry, and a friendship in a God who is always with me, even when the torrents pour. I don't know what the future holds. In my heart I still hope and pray for sunshine. But I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned while walking in the rain.
I'm autistic, ex-bipolar, and attracted to other guys (gay/SSA/whatever). More importantly, I'm a son of God and faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons). My life is usually amazing. This is my story of hope, happiness, and faith.
Monday, August 9
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I'm sure you've heard this a million times already, but you are such an inspiration. I admire your courage in sharing openly with others your struggles and successes. I love this post about walking in the rain. Recently I have had a lot of unfortunate things happen to me. It's as if I can feel a dark force pushing against me day by day. But I'm pushing back, keeping happy, learning a whole lot, and getting stronger. Anyways, thank you for being who you are.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this post. I guess one way to think of rain when comparing to our trials is, even though the rain comes down after us falling in the mud, the rain cleanses us. Just how trials, if endured well will cleanse us and make us more like our Heavenly Father. And when the sun comes out, we will be clean. We will be ready.
ReplyDeleteI never thought that i would ever find inspiration from a source so true and directed by god. I struggle with SSA and it has been a wailing in my life. No one really knows except two people. Sad to say one of those two isn't my best friend who has been my rock, even in the hardest of times.
ReplyDeleteSome people don't understand the burden that's there. I know and understand that everyone has burdens and comparing our burdens to others doesn't do us any good. I'm scared to tell anyone because of what they will think. I'm afraid to hug anyone I'm close to because i might burst into tears. All i know to do is wear a mask that i have created for myself. People see the "Me" that I'm really not. Heck I'm still having a hard time accepting that i have SSA.
What i do know is that my savior loves me unconditionally, that this is the gospel, and that Jesus died for me and i have experienced his pain and sorrow to an extent and found a bond between he and I.
Accepting the fact that im not a horrible human being is tough and most days i cant get past that.
This post reminds me of a primary some that goes " I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain, i want to be the best i can and live with god again. God loves me and I need some more help and guidance. Anything you can give me will help because i have no one to talk to.?